The Hardest

The hardest part of all of this

Is the promises you left when you walked away

You told me to hold on to you but then you let go

You told me I was the reason you’re here but then you moved away

The hardest part of all of this is you still fill the holes you left

You still walk in and out, like a vapor that I sense but when I look, you’re gone

You found another to be your refuge

The hardest part is what I gave up to sit in the silence with you

And you pretend it was never there

You act as if I shouldn’t feel the way I feel

The hardest part is thinking you felt the same

And now I know I’m the fool

For believing the lies

For thinking you just needed time

For thinking you needed me but finding you just needed the moments

And I was just the placeholder in your photoshop

Meant to be filled by another

The hardest part of losing you is that you are still here

The Poltergeist

They say that I have to let go of the past

They say that I have to embrace the present

But what if my memories are the only thing

Keeping me walking through this desert

What if my demons are the closest things I have to friends

What if this mole hill of a mountain

Is the only challenge I find worth climbing

What if I let go of the rope that holds me

If I accept my fate than I must accept that I’m alone

Even death does not cause me to shiver as much as the thought of this

I have withstood so much of the agony these ropes have burned into my hands

And when I finally reach the summit, I am confronted by the fact that I’m still at the base

So I will let your reality be what it is

But you will not take these ghosts from me

They are the only company I care to keep

I know I’m a fool, but just the same

This is my poltergeist, and she’s not going anywhere